For me, that place is the ocean. Any ocean, really.

I have always wanted to live in a small coastal town or, better yet, on an accessible-by-ferry-only island. I’ve even brought it up with my husband recently, and have been looking online for islands. The only ones I can think of are Nantucket, Martha’s Vineyard and Block Island, but Tim doesn’t want to go to New England because of the winters. So, if I look south, the only ones I know of are Kiawah Island (which I’ve been to, and it’s accessible by bridge) or Amelia Island (which I’ve never been to).

I’ve been reading novels by Elin Hildebrand, who lives on Nantucket and writes stories about island life. I’ve watched “Jennifer’s Diary for Nicholas” and fell in love with ‘Jennifer’s’ house. I want the quirky friends, walks and runs on the beach, searches for shells and the simpler life.

The problem? Where do these people work??? Well, that and being so far apart from family.

I’m just going to get even more pretentious. From now on I’m just going to write about  my life and whatever I want to write about - writing, kids, family, work, volunteering, exercise, etc.

I recently finished reading the entire Alex Cross series by James Patterson. I had read the earlier books years ago, but never got to the latest ones because I couldn’t remember the earlier ones, and always had one last book I wanted to read before committing to reading the series, etc. Blah, blah, blah.

Anyway. The series includes:

• Along Came a Spider
• Kiss the Girls
• Jack & Jill
• Cat and Mouse
• Pop Goes the Weasel
• Roses are Red
• Violets are Blue
• Four Blind Mice
• The Big Bad Wolf
• London Bridges
• Mary, Mary
• Cross
• Double Cross
• Cross Country
• Alex Cross’s Trial (though shouldn’t that be ‘Alex Cross’ Trial’?)
• I, Alex Cross

The Good: Great lead character, supported by awesome secondary characters. Alex Cross and John Sampson are two people I’d love to actually know as friends (and to have at my back), and Patterson’s portrayal of killers such as Kyle Craig and The Weasel are sufficiently chilling as to give me shivers (and to have me double checking that the doors are locked, not that that would help).

The Bad: The stories are all similar (but riveting), which I guess you can’t get away from when writing a series in a genre. It also annoyed me that for the smart man Cross was supposed to be, he couldn’t grab control of his personal life - couldn’t find a good woman (Christine Johnson is a piece of work), kept choosing serial killers over his family, and couldn’t turn his work life off.  

The Ugly: I do know that this is a personal pet peeve, but the inconsistencies are grating (mentioning people as good friends ‘The Taylors - when we’ve never heard of them, someone we never heard of rather than Sampson is his the godfather to Alex Jr., suddenly working for VICAP when he turned down the job in the last novel, wanted to bring Sampson into the FBI then nothing ever went there, plus a ton of little things I won’t bore you with). Also, it seems that once he started adding in other authors (or are they really ghost written? it’s not quite clear, but from the way there seems to be a different tone to each of the books, my bet is yes), the quality greatly diminished. Cross Country? The worst ever - totally unbelievable (a D.C. cop travels to Africa to pursue a lead? Come on!). Alex Cross’s Trial isn’t even about Alex Cross - it’s about an ancestor. In fact, all the titles with “Cross” in them should be crossed (ha, ha) off the list!

Regardless of my negatives, this series is worth a read - Alex Cross is a character you’ll want to know, and the stores are thrilling and imaginative.

Preparation Difficulty: ****~ (4/5)

Crepes Themselves (without the Suzette part): ***** (5/5)

I made these the same day I made Julia Child’s Beouf Bourguignon, a snowbound blizzardly day of all-day cooking. I followed the recipe to the letter - even bought a food processor to do so! Orange-almond butter filling, cognac, flambe, the works.

It took a while to get a handle on cooking the crepe itself - even then, I was never able to simply flip it as Julia suggests. I tried using my hands (though I don’t have the hot hands, so that didn’t last long), but then settled on the hold-your-breath-and-hope-you-don’t-break-it spatula method. After only 5 ruined crepes, I started turning out decent ones, so we were all excited to eat them. A plain one was delicious!

But then…

Aaah, but then.

Then I added the orange-almond butter, rolled them up, but them in a baking dish, drizzled with sugar, and baked. When that was done, we flambed them. I was afraid to do it, with visions of high-arching flames shooting to the ceiling, so my husband did it. Not that scary in real life, actually - a quick burst of flame, only about 2 inches high, and then it settled down and disappeared.

And then we tasted them.

Awful. Soggy, sticky sweet, almost cloying in the sweetness and almost wet in their sogginess. This had to be user error somewhere along the way, but I can’t figure out where. I followed the recipe to the letter, so who knows. We ended up eating a few, then throwing the rest away.

Preparation Difficulty: ***~~ (3/5)

I have come to cooking slowly and roughly. From being mocked in college for my queer dishes (kielbasa with sauerkraut, plus mustard and BBQ sauce mixed throughout, anyone?) to my more adventurous attempts (inedible Chinese stir-fry; inedible due to the 4 hot peppers I put in), I have experimented, invented, and copied, learning from my mistakes the whole way.

I’ve never seen a Julia Child TV show, nor had any desire to. I never read her book, and, in fact, don’t think I had ever even heard of it. I watched the movie “Julie and Julia” on a whim - my husband and I couldn’t agree on anything else that was in the On Demand list that night.

I have not been able to stop thinking about that movie ever since! So much so, that I used a Barnes and Noble gift card that I received for my birthday to buy “The Art of French Cooking,” Volumes I AND II.

Of course, over-achiever Type-A that I am, I chose to start with Julia’s two arguably most popular and involved recipes: the Boeuf Bourguignon and the Crepes Suzette.

I tackled them both on a snow day - when you’re housebound with two feet of snow accumulating outside, you cook, right?

It took me ALL DAY. Yes; you heard me - ALL DAY!

The recipe for Boeuf Bourguignon is involved, with a few other recipes incorporated within. It took a while to prepare, and then it had to cook for 2 1/2 hours.

The result? It was good. If it was the first beef stew I had ever tasted, I’d probably be raving about it, saying how delicious it was. If it hadn’t been hyped up so much, I’d probably be saying it was the best beef stew I’d ever tasted.

As it turns out, it’s not that much different from any other beef stew I’ve made, let alone any I’ve made with red wine. In fact, I’d say it was a little too salty (I NEVER add salt to anything, even if a recipe calls for it; I did in this case, though, because I didn’t want to wonder, “What if?”).

Yes, it was good. Great. Delicious. But worth all the hype? I’m not so sure. In the end, it’s just beef stew!

Confession: I have never liked tea. What I remember of tea is from my childhood - my grandfather’s Lipton, with half the cup being milk rather than tea. As an adult, I’ve avoided tea - I called myself a coffee girl, not a tea girl. So, when some friends suggested we have a ladies outing at Tea by Two in Bel Air, I was going for the sandwiches, not the tea.

Ambience   ***** (5/5)

I was charmed immediately. First impressions, right? Well, Tea by Two is located in a charming little house (cottage?) on Main Street in Bel Air, with a front porch and a twinkling bell at the door.  Upon entering, you feel like you’re in a country store of sorts, with all manner of tea items and cutesy gifts (from infusers to scone mixes, and from purse hangers to greeting cards with tea bags inserted in them) artfully displayed on a variety of eclectic furniture (love the cabinet with the tea cup doorknobs!).

I used the restroom, which was gorgeous - tea cup wallpaper and rug, with a beautiful armoire on the opposite wall. 

The restaurant is divided into little rooms, each filled with interesting furniture pieces and decorations (I’m kicking myself for not taking a picture of the large glass candleholders filled with fake snow and pine cones, which were so imaginative, festive, and beautiful). Each of the tables had a different table cloth, and were pre-set with tea cups and silverware.

Food   ***** (5/5)

The group I was with decided to order high tea, and it was only noon. I’ve since found out that this is a unique feature of tea restaurants; usually, you can only order high tea at a certain time, while at Tea by Two, it is available all day.

I was thinking - ugh, small, crustless cucumber sandwiches? I’ll have to stop at Mickey D’s on the way home to fill up.

Not so! I actually left feeling stuffed.

Our High Tea arrived on a three-tiered serving platter with small crustless sandwiches (4 for each of us), tiny desserts (4 for each of us, including a delectable macaroon), and the scone of the day (lemon-poppy seed), along with two kinds of tea and little dishes of lemon curd and cream.

Can I just say, Yum!

Everything was delicious. DELICIOUS. The chocolate strawberry and snowflake teas were surprisingly awesome, as were the scones (would you believe I had never had a scone before?) with the lemon curd.

So much so, that I have since stocked up on loose teas (chocolate strawberry, chocolate mint, and snowflake), an infuser, and a jar of lemon curd, along with scone mixes and scone recipes. I have tea everyday now!

Customer Service   ***** (5/5) 

On top of all of these positive experiences is Tea by Two’s customer service. Everyone was so helpful and friendly and, even though I was so obviously a newbie, they did not make me feel stupid or ridiculous for asking my crazy questions.

Information:

Tea by Two
814 S. Main Street
Bel Air, MD 21014
Tuesday thru Saturday 9 a.m. - 5 p.m.

The shop/restuarant was started by two life-long best friends, Erin Bradley and Janet Meyers, who were tired of the insurance industry. They did tons of research, and opened Tea by Two in June of 2001.

The restaurant offers High Tea, Afternoon Tea, Light Tea, etc., along with soups, a daily savory, and a-la-carte items.

Well, I finally figured out.

I’ll write reviews. Reviews of anything and everything, from restaurants to movies and from books to seminars.

Away we go!

Someone visiting our house recently threw that out there. Why yes; yes, I do. Actually, we usually only take it down on Superbowl Weekend. If it was up to me, I’d leave it up all year long.

I love Christmas. “The whole Christmas season.” (name that movie!) The songs, the movies, choosing the perfect gifts for people, church, decorations, the friendly(ier) attitudes everyone has.

This time of year, I wallow in my post-Christmas withdrawal funk. I miss giving presents, I miss the holiday music, I miss the anticipation. I miss the pointsettias, the lights, and the trees.

For me, Christmas starts the day after Thanksgiving - it’s “All Christmas, all the time”. The decorations go up, and only holiday music is allowed now through New Year’s, and any free block of time is spent watching holiday shows and/or movies.

The top Christmas movies - in no particular order - are:

• The Grinch (original cartoon); yes, I’m counting it as a movie
• The Grinch (Jim Carrey version)
• Love Actually
• The Family Stone
• The Santa Claus(e) 1, 2, and 3
• The Family Guy
• It’s a Wonderful Life

This year I’m going to have to have a Christmas in July celebration to extend the joy.

Honestly, I’m not very ‘with it’ - I have two such sociopaths at home, and juggle their daily manipulations of me with my job as well as my professional and personal volunteering, so, with that as my caveat, let me just say that I can’t quite figure out whether or not this is a serious article, or whether or not there actually is a study.

Yes, yes, I know that theonion.com may as well be called sarcasm.com - but does this study actually exist? If it does, may I just say, “Seriously?” Someone seriously paid good money for this, when they could poured their dollars into cancer research? Humorous finding, to be sure - but was it any surprise?